Ok, no, it’s not even out for summer, yet, but I actually can’t wait. I’ve never before hated school. I was one of those freaky kids who sat at the front of the class on purpose, took notes, did homework, answered questions voluntarily and made straight A’s. I loved school. As a parent with one of three kids in school and a second one who will start in August, I HATE SCHOOL!

I know that it has to do with Chi and all of his trials. I’m hoping that Pynni will be the light that shines through all of the darkness of Chi’s distress. She has been from the moment of her birth. Hers was not a charmed pregnancy due to several health factors on my part, but it was the kind of delivery mom’s who value natural births dream of. Then she was this wonderful baby who only cried at nurses and slept and ate beautifully. She was willing to be on whatever schedule I needed her to be on. She mellowed out my own hormones and emotions so that I felt happy and at peace and able to do whatever needed for her and Chi. She calmed Chi. He would sit and play his DS next to her for hours and talk at her (he mostly spoke Chi-nese still at this point), but he loved her immensely. God knew I needed her and here she is.

I’m trying not to pin too many hopes on her because I’m also trying not to melt down and dissolve into nothing because she isn’t going to be home with me next year. What are Rhys and I to do? He depends on her as much as I.

So I’m trying to focus on enjoying the summer during which my fabulous niece and nephew come to stay with their dad and I get to keep them all day. They are like my own children that I only get to see for 8 weeks out of the year. I have a hard time imagining what my brother must go through if I feel this way about his kids.

Anyway, I say all of that but, I’m hoping that her love of school will generate more calmness and joy in me and help me handle Chi’s situation better. No pressure or anything.