Archive for April, 2012


Pynni Pi. Seven.

Pynni is at my mom’s house with the “little” kids.

######Kip, Chi, Mae, and Abshie make up the “big” kids (grandkids). Pynni is two years younger than the youngest “big kids” and two years older than the oldest “little kids”. She is smack in the middle. So when the “big” kids go to Grammie’s Camp, Pynni gets to go, and when the “little” kids go to Grammie’s Camp, Pynni gets to go.######

Wednesday, April 18 is her birthday. She turns seven. I do not think I can overstate the importance of her birth in my life.

Chi was hard. Period. If you, as a parent, have ever dealt with a child with SPD or Asperger’s or PDD-NOS, then you know my pain. I had no clue what I was dealing with when Chi was born and things weren’t simple. They weren’t easy. I was not just dealing with the huge change a child brings into your life, but the huge challenges a child with these sorts of issues bring. On top of all of that, I suffered, pretty mightily, from post-partem depression. (It was difficult and complicated and I won’t go into it all here, but I was a mess.)

I knew that I didn’t want Chi to be an only child, but I wasn’t sure I could deal with another kid. Still, I was very determined to have another child.

Enter Pynni.

She was this light in my life that saved me. She was so easy going and quiet and beautiful. She was everything I needed and made helping Chi something I could handle without falling apart after he went to bed. She was exactly the balance I needed. EXACTLY. She is light and joy and smiles and happiness and beauty; all without trying.

Today, 18 April, she turns seven. She is so much her own person. The ONE thing I truly want for her is to be her own person. Yes, I want her to be happy. Yes, I want her to be successful (whatever that embodies). Mostly, I want her to be her. I want her to march to the beat of her own drummer. I want her to be a leader, not a follower. I want her to own WHO she is. I want her to be unafraid to just BE. I want her to be strong. I want the fact that she is a woman to DEFINE her and, yet, for that fact to set her free. I want her to have the strength to reach for her dreams, whatever those things may be: mother, world leader, healer, teacher, artist, lover, WHATEVER!

So I got a text from my mom because Pynni is not going to be HERE for her birthday. She is going to be with my parents. My mother says that Pynni is planning her own party and is VERY definite about what she wants. She is having a SpongeBob SquarePants piñata with Hello Kitty plates and napkins and a Tinkerbell cake with mint ice cream and a trip to see The Lorax.

So it begins. Somehow I need to nurture that uniqueness, that special light that is Pynni. Somehow, I need to encourage her light to shine in the face of whatever she faces. Unafraid. Unchanged. Undaunted. Uniquely, Eowyn.

Wynni Pynni Pi;

I love you and cherish EVERYTHING about you. I love watching you grow and become this amazing person. I look forward to the coming years; to seeing who and what you become. How YOU define happiness and success. Those are two things that can only be defined by you for you and I cannot wait to learn their definitions as seen through your eyes.

I love you, Pynni. Happy Birthday.

~Mom

Dear smallest person;

STOP GROWING! Okay, no, don’t do that. Continue being your awesome you. Continue finding the fun and laughter in absolutely everything. I love that you have so much joy. I love how much you love your older siblings. I love seeing you come out with your blazing personality and having your very own opinions that aren’t mirrors of Pynni’s. I love seeing you learn and grow, change and GROW. You just keep getting bigger and bigger.

Muted Silliness

You fell asleep on me a few days ago. You used to do that all the time, but now the napping on Mom is very scarce. I miss it. I miss how warm your little body gets and how you melt into me and almost become a part of me again. I will miss the naps on mommy when they finally do forever stop, but I will grab and hold on tight to the times when they do.

You’ve been in pre-school for the past two years. For most of last year, I thought you would be prepping to head off to Kindergarten, but much to my delight, you will be having Kindergarten at home with me. I feel a bit of sorrow that you won’t have that first day of Kindergarten experience and that you won’t know what it means to ride on the bus. I know you little kids find delight in all that newness, but I’m hoping that being at home and schooling with Mom and Chi and Pynni will make many great memories.

Can't. Contain. The silliness.

I’m looking forward to that. Yes I am.

You are the best younger brother any two kids could as for. No one has such a jolly happy brother as you are. The relationship you have with Pynni is amazing and even though Chi is more than 5 years older than you, you are super special to him, too. The amount of love I see the three of you express toward one another makes my heart expand. It’s really the one thing I KNOW I’ve gotten right.

I’m so glad you’re you, and I’m so glad you’re mine. Happy fifth birthday, Rhysie Piecie Japanesie! I love you!

❤ ~Mom