I need a meter stick. I do. I keep coming back to that and forget about it for a while until I come back around to needing one again. It’s mainly for school purposes. Sometimes I’ll be out running errands and I’ll remember and I’ll look and I’ll not find a meter stick. Then I forget again. And on it goes.

I finally put that meter stick on my LIST. I NEED it for science and we’re going all out with science this summer. So on to find a meter stick.

I looked at Target. No meter stick.

I looked at a Super Target. No meter stick.

I looked at Michaels. No meter stick.

I looked at Office Max. No meter stick.

I looked at Staples. No meter stick.

Then I have the best idea since starting this quest. Lowe’s Home Improvement! Solved!

Uh, right.

I go in the store and look in all the obvious places (by the tape measures? No.). No meter stick. So I look in all the obscure places (by the toilets? No.). So I decide to ask someone. I’ve been in the store for about twenty minutes at this point, getting the rest of what I needed and searching for the elusive meter sticks. The employee I ask, is a nice enough young man, but our conversation? Well, you can’t make this stuff up.

Me: “Excuse me. Hi. I need a meter stick. Where would I find one?”

Him: *confused* “What’s a meter stick?”

Me: “It’s like a yard stick. Only longer.”

Him: “How much longer?”

Me: “A few inches.”

Him: “Oh, you mean like a tape measure?”

Me: “No. A meter stick.”

Him: *wanders off to ask someone else*

I follow.

Him: “She’s looking for  a meter stick. Do you know where to find one?” *with a note of disbelief that such a thing exists*

Her: “What’s a meter stick?” *looks at me*

Me: “It’s like a yard stick. Only longer.”

Her: “How much longer?”

Me: “Uh, a few inches.”

Her: “OH! You mean a tape measure!” *excited that the mystery is solved!*

Me: “No. It’s a meter stick. Like a yard stick. Only it’s a meter long.”

Her: “Measured in meters?”

Me: “Centimeters. Used to, you could buy the wooden ones that were millimeters and centimeters on one side and inches on the other.”

Her: *picks up the phone*

New sales associate: “Can I help you?”

me: “I need a meter stick.”

NSA: “What’s a meter stick?”

me: “It’s like a yard stick. Only longer.” *struggling here to not be rude and either yell or laugh. Also, beginning to wonder if I know what the heck I’m talking about.*

NSA: “How much longer.”

One whole other person had this almost EXACT conversation with me before a still clueless assistant manager pointed me to the tape measures.

True Story.

I’m not sure why it mattered how much longer a meter stick is from a yard stick. I’m not sure why these people acted like they had no clue what a meter was. All I know is, Lowe’s does not have meter sticks, but the internet does!

And also? I’m glad I’m homeschooling.